Being a mother with a disability on disability

Becoming a mother kind of happened unexpectedly for me, and all at once. I kind of had to dive into it head first, it was scary. Having my disability, I wasn’t sure if I would be able to handle it. Shoot, I was scared to be alone with my little brother Brian (10) when he was a. baby, how was I going to handle my own? Granted, yes I’ve always wanted to be a mother but when it happened it was like woah! What is this? But now I can’t imagine a life without my babies.

Who and what would Bre’Donda be? I have no idea and frankly I don’t want to know. Being a mother is everything I didn’t know I needed until it happened. It’s given me a new set of eyes and I view the world so differently now.

My children have given me new life. Suddenly I want to live my life and be successful in the best way.

Let me explain

All my life I’ve been on SSI (supplemental security income). I’ve never really wanted to “try” at a lot of things because I didn’t want to risk losing the only source of income I have. The thought of being unsuccessful and losing that source of income became so crippling that it was just a hindrance in my life. Why would I want my children to see their mother not follow their dreams for a little bit of cash? Seriously, I was getting less than what people with minimum wage get a month. I barely get enough to properly support myself, how in the world was I going to be able to help my husband support our family? Yes, the l little bit of assistance I was getting was extremely helpful at a point in my life but now it has become more of a hindrance than anything. I’ve never worked, if I had I would have to pay them a portion if I made above a certain amount that is very little as well. If I get married I lose majority, if not the whole thing. (I’m married and currently without ssi) I’m wheelchair bound so I have limited mobility but that doesn’t mean I can’t go out there and be successful. The system isn’t built to help us succeed, the system is built to get us by and frankly, I’m tired of just getting by.

I want my babies to look at their mother and to think, wow, my mommy is in a wheelchair and doesn’t let anything stop her from living the life she was meant to live. If she can do it, so can I!

I want to be a successful writer someday and that’s what I’m striving for with Medium. With the support of my loving husband, I will no longer let the world tell me who I can and can’t be.

I was made in God’s image.