A Boundless Mama: Motherhood on wheels
Quite a few people believed that I couldn’t do it, but even more believed in me. Quite a few people believed I was going to need all the help I can get, but even more believed in me. Quite a few people believed my disability was a bound for me, but even more believed in me.
For as long as I can remember one of my life goals was to be a parent, but I didn’t always think that was a possibility for me. Not because of my disability, Well, not directly. I never actually believed I’d find someone who would want nothing more than to have kids with me. I once had a man tell me he would never in a billion years want to have kids with me because he didn’t want his kids to turn out like me. I think he meant that in all aspects including personality. That messed me up for a long time. I thought, maybe that’s what every man thinks of me. When he said that I couldn’t imagine anyone wanting to risk having a child like me, but then I met my husband. Someone who didn’t even think twice about it.
See my husband wasn’t afraid of the ”What if’s”. He absolutely adored me for who I am. He wanted to make sure I knew exactly what he thought of me, telling me that I have a brilliant mind and I am beautiful. We are blessed to have 2 perfectly healthy children and I am blessed to have a husband who tells me regularly that I’m doing a great job raising our children because he doesn’t see my disability as a bound.
Born with spastic cerebral palsy, I’ve always had mobility issues. For as long as I can remember I’ve had a wheelchair, but that never stopped me from living my best life, nor has it slowed me down. Every obstacle I’ve come by I’ve overcome. I had to have a “can-do” mindset because without one I’d be stuck every time I come across something challenging.
Having 2 under 2 naturally has its challenges without adding a disability to it, but the only thing I can do is tackle motherhood full force. I definitely struggle with things the average mother may not struggle with like for example, when running around I can’t physically keep up with my children and though that does bum me out at times, it’s okay. We often times have to figure out different ways to play and that’s okay too. My kids are very accommodating to their mothers needs. When it’s time for a pull-up change, when my husband changes my son he likes to run away and have his dad chase him because that’s the game they play, but when mommy has to change him he would never run. He understands that mommy can’t chase him like daddy can and he’s okay with that because mommy gives the best loves in the whole world.
When it comes to discipline he knows mommy don’t play games. Just because I’m in a wheelchair doesn’t mean my children can be free to behave in any manner they please. I am a God fearing woman so I must raise my kids accordingly. Respect and honor your parents, love everyone including those who don’t love you and be patient, slow to speak and quick to listen. These are the most important things to me and my husband to teach our children. Something I like to say is I’m disabled not unable. My disability will never hinder me from doing and being my best I can be in whatever it is I’m trying to do, where there’s a will there’s a way! Being raised by a single mother has given me so much strength. She taught me so much even when she wasn’t aware. She’s given me a great example of how to love my children and you don’t need full use of your legs to do so.
I am able to give my kids so much more than just love. They are learning things like empathy and how to be considerate at a young age growing up having a mom with a disability, and you know what? I believe that is a beautiful thing. They are learning how to treat people who may look different from them. I pray to God that my husband and I raise good people who contribute to society in the best ways possible.
So why is it that people believed that I wouldn’t be able to handle motherhood? Is it because of the physical aspect of things or is it something else? Do people believe that my children would take advantage of me because of my physical disability? Do they believe they’d be better off with an abled bodied mother? I don’t know exactly what the reasoning is but it’s not fair to have a preconceived notion of someone simply because they’re different because the truth of the matter is you don’t know what other people are capable of because you’re not them. One thing I have to remember, not only for my sanity but because I’m a God fearing woman is that I can’t care about what others think about me and my situation because it’s not them I need to please. I believe that I am a wonderful mother who tries her best and my family thinks the world of me.
Don’t judge a book by its cover.
